Five Sly Ways to Pick a Wedgie in Public

Five Sly Ways to Pick a Wedgie in Public image via www.someecards.com We’ve all been caught in a tight situation before (wedgie wise that is), and getting out of them in public is always a hard task to pull off. Even though EVERYONE gets them, taking care of that bad boy for everyone to see may not be the best idea. Until it becomes publically acceptable to make yourself more comfortable when your underwear doesn’t want to cooperate, here are some ways you can pick your wedge without getting caught by the public eye. 1)  Use your friends: Human shields anyone? If you have a group of friends you feel comfortable sharing your tight situation with, ask them to be your body guards while you slyly make yourself more comfortable. This works best if you guys have a code word for said wedgie situation, like “Wedge Alert” or “code wedge.” Use the code word, and have them give you a signal of understanding, like a nod, and then get into position. Have them block you in a non obvious way so you can get all up in there without having random people notice, either by standing in front and back of you, or in front while you are against a wall. I’ve used this method myself before, comes in handy especially while wearing a skirt. If you don’t have cool friends who are open about wedge picking, see step two. 2) Use your surroundings: Wedgies can really hurt, so I’ve resorted to hiding behind a bush at school in order to get my wedge freeing on. Use your surroundings to block yourself from the public eye. Be quick though, you don’t want to be some creeper lurking behind a tree with your hand by your butt (talk about awkward). 3) Lunge challenge: Don’t have time to dive behind your friends or your surroundings? Well you can get your wedge taken care of without using your hands. Challenge the person next to you to a lunging competition to see who can bend deeper. Lunge forward and hope that after a couple seconds, the wedge will be more bearable until you are someplace where you can actually take care of it. 4) Shimmy shimmy shake: Dancing can also take care of that bad boy for ya, especially if you involve some kicks into your routine. If you’re not one of those “randomly breaks into dance” types, then slap on some tunes and hope your wedge will cooperate. Do some twists and kicks, and make the dancing look as natural as possible. Remember, you don’t want to draw attention to what you are actually doing. 5) Sit in the back of the classroom: If you’re sitting in the back, you’ll be prepared for whenever a wedgie might strike. You gotta be sly about this one, because people could still see you. Look to either side of you to make sure the coast is clear. Slump in your chair so if someone were to look over, you’d be able to hide your mission quickly. Move fast and take care of what needs to be done. Resume taking notes as usual. Hope these suggestions help for the next time you get stuck in an uncomfortable situation. Remember, the key is to be quick and finesse your movements. Happy picking! *Results may vary.